Top Off The List With Something Catchy; The Mob Will Dance, But They Are Easily Pleased. You Put More Effort Into The Mix Than It Was Worth

I am making a playlist for a party next month. Nothing sophisticated. Just slapping together some danceable, sing-a-long songs for a bunch of drunks to stumble to.

I hope to conjure up a variety of memories; hokie middle school dances, slutty excursions to the club and unabashed dancing during household cleaning chores.

The main event will be live music via my amateur, punk-indie (and any other constricting label one can think of) band. A few friends will also play in their respective bands.

The playlist will be used in-between, before and after band sets. Really, it is an excuse to throw together music I like and obsessively run through it.

The secret to a good playlist is transitions.

It is those special moments, like when “Hello, Goodbye” by The Beatles starts to fade out and DJ Paul from Three-6 Mafia lets out a long, guttural “yeaaaah”. Or when Meg White of The White Stripes, stomps her bass through the end of a Dr. Dre song.

I have about six hours worth of music on the list. The party will require two hours, tops. But “better to be safe than sorry” an estranged relative once told me over the internet.

Live music, some jolly friends, a little Talking Heads mixed with Snoop Dogg — here’s to a great party next month.

Snoop Dogg takes his time in order to give his woman a “Sexual Eruption” … or for the PG-philes — a “Sensual Seduction”

The “Sexual Eruption” music video (censored as “Sensual Seduction”) has been circulating on television channels and the internet for at least 2 months now. The watching experience goes in stages similar to those introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969 for grief and loss.

Denial: “Did he really make such a terrible video/song?”

Anger: “Why am I humming along? Sure, he made the video in good humor, but it still pisses me off.”

Bargaining: “What? It’s on again? Mr. Snoop Doggy Dogg is lucky that the remote is so far away. I would take bamboo shoots under the fingernails to have my girlfriend change the channel.”

Depression: “Why can’t my love-making be how Snoop describes it? Look at all the shining women around him that I will never have.”

Acceptance: Singing to oneself on the way to work: “If you don’t know by now, Doggy Dogg is a freak freak freeeeaak.”

Here is a break-down:

The music — A mixture of vocoder/talkbox vocals, synthesizers, flutes, a triangle and a subtle rap beat.

The video — A wonderful parody making use of greased and teased hair through a soft-focus lens, fog machines, twinkling pinpoints of light and beds floating across galaxies.

The remix with Lil Kim — Her lyrics are even nastier than Snoop Dogg’s: “I like to take mine from behind so he can take control.” Her contribution adds even more flavor to the song, bringing it to a new level of ’sleazy-70s-song-to-bang-your-girlfriend-to’.

The verdict — A hilarious guilty pleasure whether the remix or original, single track or video. If you have not heard it yet, go cycle through the steps — I will meet you at acceptance.

And then we can wait.

The album drops in March.

There will be no guest appearances on the album, sources said. It will be 100-percent Snoopy Doggy Dizzle. Just the way it should be.