Cream of the Crop: Who can Spit it best, who can show the rest; throwing it down, boasting king of the hiphop crown?

Many rappers claim that they are kings of the hip-hop genre, boasting how they spit the sickest rhymes and flow smoothest through time.

Self-promotion is a large part the hiphop world.

Rappers from Lupe Fiasco (“I go by the name of Lupe Fiasco”) to Ludacris (“Luda!”) to Bubba Sparxx (“Okey-dokey, dis dat Bubba talk”) all throw down a plethora of verses in their songs based solely on their name or sometimes … how to spell their name.

“It’s the D, the I, the D, the D, the Y. It’s Diddy (hold up). It’s Diddy (That’s crazy).”

Yes, his name is Diddy.

However boastful an individual may be, there are clearly those that are king of the game and those that are full of hot air. It’s the difference between Scott Stapp and Justin Timberlake. Although in that off-topic example, one can claim both are full of hot air. Yet, there is a clear winner (and it’s not the man with his “eyes wide open”). Yes, a clear winner, unlike the Democratic Super Tuesday primary race going on right now.

Here are a few rappers I don’t think are full of shit. Bow down to your lyrical superiors.

1. Nas — His music is not the type of background noise party-goers love to grind to, but that is why he is so great. The release of Nas’ album, “Hip-hop is Dead” evoked an array of responses. Maybe hip-hop is not dead, but Nas was making a bold statement: stop super-manning that hoe and get into some rap with a message. If you do, it is well worth it.

2. Big Boi — Although I like Andre 3000 more as an artist, Big Boi wins hands down as the lyrical genius of the duo. His response to their split album (i.e. two solo albums packaged under the Outkast name) was eloquently phrased, “Outkast, cell therapy to cell division. We just split it down the middle so you can see both the visions.” His ability to shift rhythm and speed is incredible. One of my favorite lines by him also comes from their latest album: “And judges, just to hold grudges in a courtroom. I want to see your support bra not support you.” A masterpiece of comparison.

3. Tupac — Often more of a poet then rapper. A West coast/East coast feud, only fueled the lyrical skills. Biggie Smalls was amazing at being a gangsta, and had some smooth lines, but he was not near as eloquent and heartfelt as Tupac.

4. Bob Dylan — He was a rapper right? “Subterranean Homesick Blues” is definitely rap, and a good one at that. “Johnny’s in the basement mixing up the medicine. I’m on the pavement thinking about the government.” He even did a more traditional style of rap on an 80s track with Kurtis Blow (although this example is not the best of Dylan’s abilities).

5. Grand Master Flash — One of the pioneers of socially conscious rap. His infectious hooks are classic. “It’s like a jungle out there, it makes wonder how I keep from going under.”– enough said.

6. Anyone from th Wu Tang Clan — And I mean anyone. If I broke them up they would fill too many spots on the list.

7. Sage Francis — Amazing free stylist. I like the grate in his voice, like a white DMX meets Dave Attell, that host from the show “Insomniac”.

8. The Fugees — Wyclef is my favorite although Lauren Hill and the “other guy” (Pras) are great too. A recent viewing of Wyclef’s free style on BET’s “Rap city” solidified my respect for him. More as a whole though, the group was talented, conscious and daring.

9. Bradley Nowel — As the main lyricist of Sublime, he was a master at combining elements of punk, hip-hop, dub and reggae into infectious songs that speak to the soul. “…take hip-hop to a higher ground. And I know how.” An unconventional rap master.

I Did not list too many fun rappers like Biz Markie and Three-6 Mafia. I also Missed some respectable artists like Public Enemy, but will catch them next time. Or maybe next time the list will be of the worst rappers ever. God knows there is enough of them.

Snoop Dogg takes his time in order to give his woman a “Sexual Eruption” … or for the PG-philes — a “Sensual Seduction”

The “Sexual Eruption” music video (censored as “Sensual Seduction”) has been circulating on television channels and the internet for at least 2 months now. The watching experience goes in stages similar to those introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969 for grief and loss.

Denial: “Did he really make such a terrible video/song?”

Anger: “Why am I humming along? Sure, he made the video in good humor, but it still pisses me off.”

Bargaining: “What? It’s on again? Mr. Snoop Doggy Dogg is lucky that the remote is so far away. I would take bamboo shoots under the fingernails to have my girlfriend change the channel.”

Depression: “Why can’t my love-making be how Snoop describes it? Look at all the shining women around him that I will never have.”

Acceptance: Singing to oneself on the way to work: “If you don’t know by now, Doggy Dogg is a freak freak freeeeaak.”

Here is a break-down:

The music — A mixture of vocoder/talkbox vocals, synthesizers, flutes, a triangle and a subtle rap beat.

The video — A wonderful parody making use of greased and teased hair through a soft-focus lens, fog machines, twinkling pinpoints of light and beds floating across galaxies.

The remix with Lil Kim — Her lyrics are even nastier than Snoop Dogg’s: “I like to take mine from behind so he can take control.” Her contribution adds even more flavor to the song, bringing it to a new level of ’sleazy-70s-song-to-bang-your-girlfriend-to’.

The verdict — A hilarious guilty pleasure whether the remix or original, single track or video. If you have not heard it yet, go cycle through the steps — I will meet you at acceptance.

And then we can wait.

The album drops in March.

There will be no guest appearances on the album, sources said. It will be 100-percent Snoopy Doggy Dizzle. Just the way it should be.

Unlike most rappers, she samples from more then just classic rock bands and 80’s drum machines; M.I.A. borrows from the world.

Pink Floyd cash registers, gun shots off a cheap Casio keyboard, layers upon layers of lush flute-thermin sounds borrowed from various exotic lands — all flourish into one dance groove that is also known as “Paper Planes” by M.I.A.

Every song off her latest album, “Kala”, could produce an extensive list of influences, samples and instruments.

“Paper Planes” samples from The Clash, but other tracks off “Kala” make use of elements as diverse as The Pixies, remixed Bollywood disco, urmi drummers, and so much more.

And of course, like any dance album that is popular these days, Timbaland has touched it. He worked his mojo-magic on M.I.A, producing the last track on the album, “Come Around”.

M.I.A.’s singing and playful babbling is reminiscent of solo Gwen Stefani and Fergie except less abrasive and far more intelligent.

If not already witnessed by the number of times the song is mentioned in this post, “Paper Planes” is my personal favorite off the album. If there is one monotonous song to choose from the bunch, this song is it.

It is best listened to while dancing naked on uppers and shooting gun fingers to each gunshot in the chorus. This is just a theory though. A theory based on observation.

Half the reason I like the song is the image I have of my roommate whenever the “Paper Planes” ringtone plays on his phone. He stares off into his imaginary ghetto world, wide-eyed, twitching and bouncing his limp hands above his head as the shots in the chorus ring out. It is a visual in which the amusement factor will never cease.

So, far from a perfect song, it’s a perfect ringtone.

The downfall is that all the songs off the album have the tendency to become monotonous.

It is one of the side effects of creating a dance track. Luckily, there is enough layers in the music to keep even the most attention-deficit listener mostly interested.

The remix of Paper Planes, just introduced to me and featuring two other rappers, helps brings diversity to a song that otherwise might lose its freshness.

If you have already discovered and listened to M.I.A., congratulations — you are among those who have already made their decision to love, hate, or be indifferent to her worldly sounds. For the rest of you, try going with my theory on how to best appreciate her music and then judge for yourself.

Go ahead, strip your clothing, go Hunter S. on that stash of drugs you’ve been saving up for a special occasion — then watch M.I.A’s trippy “Boyz” music video and tell me you don’t feel something deep in those dancing bones.