Snoop Dogg takes his time in order to give his woman a “Sexual Eruption” … or for the PG-philes — a “Sensual Seduction”

January 25, 2008

The “Sexual Eruption” music video (censored as “Sensual Seduction”) has been circulating on television channels and the internet for at least 2 months now. The watching experience goes in stages similar to those introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in 1969 for grief and loss.

Denial: “Did he really make such a terrible video/song?”

Anger: “Why am I humming along? Sure, he made the video in good humor, but it still pisses me off.”

Bargaining: “What? It’s on again? Mr. Snoop Doggy Dogg is lucky that the remote is so far away. I would take bamboo shoots under the fingernails to have my girlfriend change the channel.”

Depression: “Why can’t my love-making be how Snoop describes it? Look at all the shining women around him that I will never have.”

Acceptance: Singing to oneself on the way to work: “If you don’t know by now, Doggy Dogg is a freak freak freeeeaak.”

Here is a break-down:

The music — A mixture of vocoder/talkbox vocals, synthesizers, flutes, a triangle and a subtle rap beat.

The video — A wonderful parody making use of greased and teased hair through a soft-focus lens, fog machines, twinkling pinpoints of light and beds floating across galaxies.

The remix with Lil Kim — Her lyrics are even nastier than Snoop Dogg’s: “I like to take mine from behind so he can take control.” Her contribution adds even more flavor to the song, bringing it to a new level of ’sleazy-70s-song-to-bang-your-girlfriend-to’.

The verdict — A hilarious guilty pleasure whether the remix or original, single track or video. If you have not heard it yet, go cycle through the steps — I will meet you at acceptance.

And then we can wait.

The album drops in March.

There will be no guest appearances on the album, sources said. It will be 100-percent Snoopy Doggy Dizzle. Just the way it should be.